"Then Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and
asked letters from him to the synagogues of Damascus, so that if he
found any who were of the Way, whether men or women, he might bring them
bound to Jerusalem." (Acts 9:1-2)"But the Lord said to him (Ananias), “Go, for he (Saul) is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name before Gentiles, kings, and the children of Israel. For I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name’s sake.” (v 15-16)
*The first passage is prior to Saul's conversion and the second passage refers to after God met Saul on the road to Damascus.
Throughout the Old and New Testament, God had a pattern of using men and women who were not "righteous" by society's standards. Examples include: Moses who wasn't an eloquent speaker and who murdered a guy, Peter cut off a guy's ear out of anger and denied Christ, Matthew was an unpopular tax collector, Judas betrayed Jesus, but still God used Judas to carry out His Will, so forth and so on. Do you get the point? Some of the most unlikely people you can think of, are what God desires. They start off broken and sometimes lost until God moves His Spirit on their lives and uses them for His greater good. I'll give you an example of someone in my life, my husband.
My husband is far from perfect and doesn't claim to be. In the beginning, the poor guy was dealing with some demons of his own and didn't really know how to stand on his own spiritually. When we started dating, I spent hours praying for him. There was something about him that made it hard to leave. I just couldn't do it. I had fallen in love from the moment I saw him. Besides his thick, soft hair, his beautiful caramel eyes, perfect teeth, cute grin, strong, manly hands, and fit stature, also stood a man of softness. One thing I will dote on, is his big heart. I can ask him to do anything and he does it without complaining and always with a smile. All those attributes of his heart are things that the Lord sees only. Dustin is so humble to the point to where he doesn't actually feel good enough to be called a child of God. He doesn't want any type of leadership, but he is the first to help anyone as long as he doesn't get a pat on the back for it. He works for everything he has without the help of anyone else and he likes it that way. That's just his personality. I will give you an example of his softness because it's just too cute not to share.
Tonight, after the kids went to bed, I sat down in the recliner for a minute while Dustin was in the kitchen studying for tomorrow's lesson at church (our teacher is on vacation this week and asked D to teach for tomorrow for our young adult's class). So, after about 15 minutes or so I hear what sounded like sobbing. I sat there and thought to myself, "what is making him sob?" I walk into the kitchen and after he finished studying, he took a break to watch a video on youtube about a baby who had complications after birth and passed away shortly after. He just sat there with his hand over his mouth, crying pretty hard. Now, to know him, you wouldn't take him for the crying type because the first time I had ever seen him cry was the moment Laura came out and started crying for the first time, so I knew this was serious. I told him not to watch videos like that because I know how sensitive he is with Laura. You see, in the beginning, like any other guy, a man usually wants a boy to carry out the last name or to be manly with and around, but as soon as Laura came, he melted. I'm not exaggerating or making any of this up. He went from a guy who was rough to a guy who changes diapers on his own, feeds Laura without being asked, gives her a bath every single night, combs and blow drys her hair (out of fear that she might get pneumonia of course, lol), picks out her pjs, rocks her to sleep in his recliner, and comes running to her every plea. Some of you might think, "well, you ask him to do that" and I would tell you to ask his family. He is obsessed with that little girl and he should be, as any good father would. He has always wanted a big family and the thought that now there's a second little girl on the way, makes him that much more happy. After Laura, he loves the idea of having girls around the house (considering that he's a lady's man haha). I tease him to this day that it gets even better once they start becoming teens, asking to go out with boys, driving their first car to school, and even giving them away at their wedding.
To say all that is to say this: no one is better than anyone else as long as God is involved. God's very attributes reflect redemption and sanctification. He doesn't have to worry with those who already believe they are good in the Lord's sight and who believe they are better because they have never fallen or made mistakes; He takes the extra time to take the broken vessel out of bad situations or relationships and leads them to a path that leads to Him. I don't want my husband to be perfect or try to impress anyone, I want him to continue to do what he does now and that is being a humble Christian, a hard worker who works for everything he has by himself, to continue to be a supportive and affectionate husband, and proud father to his children. What people hold against him from his past is sin on their part and no Bible verse can contradict what I've said but can condemn what others might think. Our job is to not look down on the Sauls of our day, but to see ourselves in them. Christ didn't die for the righteous, but for the unrighteous. If God can change Saul's heart, He can change anyone's. If you have found happiness and love, don't waste it by looking back on what was never meant to be. Focus on the good that happened and learn from the mistakes that were made. Focus on Christ and love every minute of your life. Pray for the Sauls and uplift the Pauls because we were all once blind. May God bless each one of you. Have a good night's rest. Xoxo
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