Every New Year's, people make promises that they intend to keep but seem to fall short less than a month later and guess what? I am so guilty of that! lol I would love to have these set goals and stand by them but more often than not, I get distracted and completely forget what I even had in mind for the new year! Well, I had a conversation last night with my pastor's wife and she helped me to realize quite a few things. I was allowing the devil to tempt, poke and prod at me for quite some time now. I allowed myself to get worked up over something that I am not jealous of, but of something that just plain annoyed me. The bad part about it was, was that I allowed myself to go back to the same old problem and keep looking at it. I never really allowed God to consume this heart of mine over this situation. I guess you can say that I never really laid it down at God's feet and leave it there for Him to deal with. I kept saying, "Okay, God. Here it is, but I'm going to need that back." Sounds silly, doesn't it? Silly, yes. Normal, absolutely. It happens to all of us and we do have a choice on how long we choose to hold on to it. My pastor's wife said something that has stuck with me since last night. She said, "One more thing...remember you are not accountable for her or anyone else, just yourself." I can't make anyone forgive me. I can't take back anything that I might have said out of retaliation or anger. I can't change anyone's mind or make them see the truth of the matter, but one thing I can do is give it to God and let Him take care of the rest. God sees this heart of mine. He knows the intentions of everyone's heart and I pray with all of my heart that He will bless those who have ill intentions towards me. I pray that He blesses them above and beyond regardless of their actions. To not want to see someone blessed would be considered jealousy and that's one thing that I am not. I have been blessed with the one I have always wanted. A guy whom everyone knows and loves, a sinner turned saint. I don't care who doesn't like him because as long as God does, it is well with my soul. A dad that gets up in the middle of the night to change diapers without being asked, fixes breakfast every Sunday morning because he loves to cook, cleans the house out of kindness, doesn't yell, tells me how beautiful I am even when I think I look like death, etc. If you are happy, hold on to that person. Cherish all those things about them. One day, God will want them back. I don't need to boast or brag and I used to be guilty of that. Now, I just sit back and bask in what God has given to me. I don't need to boast on the guy or life God gave me because it's already known how good God has been to us. So, for this new year, may you all love and cherish the ones God has given you. Cherish this temporary life that God has blessed you with because one day, it will be gone and we will be singing praises unto our Creator one glorious day. Forgive those who have wronged you and ask for forgiveness, if possible. Let God consume your hearts and your lives and may we use our tongues as beacons of light to reflect God and His goodness. My resolution is to not allow myself to get tangled up again in any type of conflict with anyone, but to be a smiling light to others who need to hear the Gospel. May God bless you and the rest of your beautiful year.
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